Happiness and Fulfillment

If you ask people about "happiness and fulfillment" and what it means to them, you will probably get a variety of answers. The general approach to happiness is that if you attain what you desire, you are happy; and if you don't, you are unhappy. Win the lottery, get a great job, get married, go on a holiday, and you are happy. Miss the lottery, don't get a great job, don't get married, don't go on a holiday, and you are miserable. Or is often considered as a subjective state of mind, as when one claims one is happy when one is at a beach enjoying a cool drink on a hot day, or is out “having fun” with friends.

Webster defined happiness as "the emotion evoked by success or by the prospect of possessing what one desires." But this may sound shallow to a reflective person because they know that this kind of happiness is fleeting. Here one minute and gone the next! When the "having fun" is over or we finally possess what we have been desiring, somehow the happiness soon fades, and before we know it we are back to our disgruntled self again, desiring something new to make us temporarily happy again. However, more often than not, happiness remains forever elusive for those with such shallow views.

But if you go beyond the surface, the understanding of "happiness and fulfillment" drastically changes. Plato argues that we must be moral in order to be truly happy, and that it hinges on the four cardinal virtues: wisdom, courage, moderation, and justice. Wisdom is based on mind. Plato believes that the wise person uses the mind to understand moral reality and then apply it to daily life. The wise person is guided by prudence in the choices they make. Courage has to do with how we handle adversity,  but it also includes one's convictions. As a matter of fact, Socrates, who was Plato's mentor, chose to die rather than abandon his deepest convictions. Moderation (self-control) is connected to our desires. Human beings have endless desires, and that's not necessarily a bad thing. But it becomes problematic when we desire a good thing in the bad way, or a bad thing. 

Our desires for food, sex, alcohol and material possessions must not consume our lives in a way that compromises our character, but don't tell that to some people, they may accuse you of being jealous. Justice relates to one's overall character. For Plato, the just person has a healthy soul, in which reason rules the appetites and our desire for honor. The just person is fulfilled, at peace, and truly happy.

In my evolution, I've been inching closer and closer towards Plato's view of "happiness and fulfillment". Not there yet though because the gravitation is slow; the road is full of obstacles and other forces are pulling from different directions too. Growing up in a place where resources were limited (and still are), I was made to believe, for the most part, that material success is what defines and fulfills an individual. Your success is generally measured by the amount of material possessions you accumulate, regardless of your character, especially now. This idea of success has now led too many folks in my community to abandoned morality and dignity and plunged into the ocean of injustice and hypocrisy.

The "pretentious culture" in my opinion is a source of misery for too many folks. They will lie, cheat and steal just to impress others. It is simply hard to coexist with these types of people if you’re more interested in simplicity and gratitude. Pretension is a mask that allows you to be someone else, and many get consumed by it. Ultimately it can make you and those around you very unhappy.  Our relationships with others, while vital to human existence, can often cause us a tremendous amount of anguish. On the same token, our relationships profoundly influence, if not define many aspects of our lives.

While there are "happiness and fulfillment" prescriptions from thinkers and religion, it should still be considered somewhat relative. What works for one may not work for another. But as I continue my journey in life, I find myself rebelling against this notion of material possession as the yard stick for happiness and success, and define my own state of happiness. My quest for "happiness and fulfillment" has led me down the part of seeking health (moral and physical), peace of mind, and sound wisdom.

In pursuing these goals, I've been able to make enormous strides in keeping my sanity, distance myself from unnecessary contention, and avoid the rat race. Moreover, I focus on nurturing who I am, rather than who I should be. I refuse to surrender to the unnatural demands of the class struggle, my lucidity is too important. My objective is to live simply, live well, and try to make a difference (no matter how little). Overall, I'm in a place of contentment and it keeps getting better. We should all learn to appreciate the simple things in life more, for they can bring you the most happiness.

Under My Umbrella

In our daily lives, we use several different objects that perform certain functions to make life easier. We use a vehicle to drive to places, a phone to make calls, and a pen to write. What happens when a phone stops performing the function of making calls? Should we still consider it a phone or something else? What happens when a vehicle is now sitting on blocks in the middle of your compound and kids are using it for driving simulation? Should we still consider it a vehicle or a toy for the kids? 

It's been raining here and I've been using my umbrella to protect me from the rain. My umbrella performs the function of keeping me dry to a degree when the rain is pouring. When opened, the umbrella's metal spokes forms an anchor for the waterproof material attached to them to protect me from the rain. In sum, my umbrella performs the function of protecting me from the rain. 

But if the waterproof material is ripped off from my umbrella leaving the handle and frame, should I

still call it an umbrella? If I open the spokes, put my umbrella over my head, walk into the rain, I will surely get drenched. Should I continue to call this object that can no longer protect me from the rain an umbrella?

Generally, we all do. We may say that the umbrella is broken, but we will still call it an umbrella even though it's no longer performing the function of an umbrella. Granted it was once an umbrella, but it has now ceased to function as one. Then what is it now? It's definitely something. 

When Jammeh came to power through a coup in 1994, he claimed to be this "huge umbrella" that can stretch from one end of the sky to the other; promised to protect Gambians from the "rains" of corruption, abuse of power, and everything else that the former government was doing wrong. He called them rats, arrested them, and confiscated their properties. He assured Gambians that he was the "Umbrella" for them and they will never be drenched by corruption again. 

But when the storms came, Gambians found themselves drenched in blood from the torture and killings, shaking like a leaf from fear, and getting washed away into the Atlantic Ocean by the flood waters. As it turned out, that "huge umbrella" covering the sky from one end to the other, never had a waterproof material attached to the spokes. It has been just the handle and naked spokes all the while. How come the majority never took a second to look up? 

Fast forward to now, that umbrella is being collapsed on Gambians and the spokes are violently poking their skulls. Every aspect of their lives is being altered on a daily basis. Day has become night and right has become wrong. God has become man and religion has become a tool. Fundamentally, things are in reverse order. But it is forbidden to talk about it or attempt to address the issues. A functional umbrella is the doctor's order, if Gambians want protection. 

Black or White

Not a day goes by without hearing complaints from those residing in The Gambia about how desperate the situation is there. They lament about flying inflation, lack of employment and opportunity, harassment, intimidation, abuse,  chronic corruption, fear, and all this is done through whispering because they think someone is listening. Sometimes they just sum it up as “Gambia easywut”. You hear these complaints from people from all walks of life. From high government officials, lawyers, doctors, artists, business owners, petty traders, fish sellers at the market, and of course, the unemployed. Basically, across the spectrum! I would not be surprised to hear that Jammeh himself has uttered “Gambia easywut” a few times!

Folks are looking for every opportunity to flee and will risk their lives in doing so. A back way travel package sells like hot cake, especially around Christmas. I guess they are trying to escape the arrival of the “Semesters” and their swagger? The “Swagger parties” are on and in full swing as we speak. Groups are chipping in £20 or $50 each and throwing parties daily, while those struggling to afford “tapalapa” are enviously watching and wishing it was them. Amid all this, they also hear a panoply of stories about different adventures in the west from the semesters. At least for a couple of weeks, a semester is the envy of those they left behind as some make promises, most of which will never be delivered. Is there glory in such? Is this success?

On one hand, semesters are flocking to the smiling coast while most in the smiling coast are frowning. They are buying up kabaa ndombo, ditah, solom solom, koni, gerrteh saaf, kobo bu laka, and all those other little things that are now almost a luxury for the locals; even Talapia (wass) has now become scarce and a semi-luxury item. Semesters are sponsoring  Benechini Penda Mbye festivals, attaya sessions, pejeh shawarma, and throwing VIP swagger parties. On the other hand, too many locals are looking for a way out by any means necessary, and the back way numbers is a testament to that. Gambia ranks on the top in the region percentage wise in back travel. The Atlantic Ocean has swallowed too many Gambian youths and their promises and talents washed to shore as corpses hardened by rigamortis.  Senegal has also become a cradle. 

And the irony to me here is: While Gambians abroad flock for a life of temporary fantasy and party “semester style”, permanent residents are looking to escape their daily realities of crushing poverty, flying inflation, lack of employment and opportunity, harassment, intimidation, abuse, corruption and fear. 

So this brings me to my question: Is Gambia black or white? Gray maybe? Howma sah! 

Battle Of The Sexes

Picture courtesy of  http://chicorita.com

Should men and women be treated differently?  When rephrased, this question is actually asking if men and women are equal.  This question is not new and has been grappled with by thinkers in the past, present, and I’m certain in the future as well.  It is a very delicate and sensitive subject.  The world has been dominated by men probably since time began, and is still dominated by men.  But will it continue to be dominated by men? I guess time will tell.

However, let’s take a moment and go back in time to see how philosophers responded to this issue. The social status of women in ancient Greece was a very limited one to say the least.  In an era where women were little better than domestic slaves, there were few supporters of any kind of equality for them.  One of these rare supporters, surprisingly, was none other than the great philosopher Plato.  This was unheard of in Greek society - or any other society for that matter.  A woman in ancient Greece was typically always under the control or protection of a man.  In the Republic, Plato argued that women (at least those in the upper classes) must be assigned social roles, in the ideal state, equal (or approximately) to those of men.  Plato's position in the Republic is based upon his view that, "…women and men have the same nature in respect to the guardianship of the state.” First he compares the apparent weaknesses of women to men and how women (and men) each have individual strengths and talents.  For this reason, the woman then has equally, with the man, the same qualities which makes a guardian.  He suggested that the same education which makes a man a good guardian would make a woman a good guardian.

A generation later, Aristotle (Plato’s most famous disciple), had exactly the opposite view regarding women.  He believed a man to be an inherently better leader than a woman - the male is by nature fitter for command than the female - and the male is by nature superior and the female inferior; to Aristotle, the male was a ruler and the female was merely a subject.  Aristotle basically said that a woman should be obedient to the will of her husband/men.  He took a rather strict view of gender roles even comparing the male/female relationship to that of a master and slave.

Fast forward to 2015, the debate about gender equality is still raging.  While significant strides have been made since the days of Plato and Aristotle, the inequality between the sexes still persists.  For the feminists and their supports, “equal” doesn’t mean “same” – it means that men and women should be given the same opportunities, such as being offered the same jobs, assuming the same skill level; offered the same pay amount, assuming the same quality of work; and given the same ability to live a life free of fear and sexual harassment.  Although laws are on the books now to try to rectify some of the equalities between men and women in the work place, the rest of society has to also do its part in the social arena.  Some things you just can’t legislate laws for, it will take a shift in societal attitudes.  Our attitudes determine what we value and how we treat each other.

Despite being a product of a culture where women were and still are seen as less than men, my views on the issue have always been progressive.  My take on the issue, from a very young age, has always aligned with that of Plato.  Not that I was a young philosopher, or even remotely close to one, but I’ve always believed in basic fairness.  Growing up in The Gambia, like much of the world, women were always in the back seat when it came to decision-making at almost all levels, but at the front seat of taking care of the household.  Their duties weren’t official, but they were the hardest. Additionally, for a good number of women, they had to compete with a second, third or even a fourth wife in their marriages.  Luckily for me, this was not the case in my immediate family, but it was the reality for some of my friends and neighbors.  Even though this practice is sanctioned by the culture and I knew it, these inequalities still don’t sit well with me.  To quote Aristotle "…the worst form of inequality is to try to make unequal things equal." But as clearly articulated by today’s feminists and their supports, “equal” doesn’t mean “same” – it means that men and women should be given the same opportunities, that's all. Wish someone told Aristotle that!

Now that I have two daughters of my own, I have become even more of a believer in the equal treatment of men and women, not just in the work place, but in society and in general.  I see talent in my daughters that would rival any boy their age, and I hope with time my advocacy will intensify.  I’m a strong believer that talent has no gender and should not be assigned one.

My Peace

My Peace

You feed my soul and elevate my spirit

A permanent rainbow in my clouds that has no end

Your gentle ripples bring me endless tranquility

Your majestic waves carry me through the ups and downs

My Peace

With you my mind is sharp and my heart is receptive

You free me from contention and keep me gratified

You keep my heart dancing and my smile twinkling

Your presence motivates me and keeps me sane

My Peace

A safe and comforting space free from turbulence

Free from toxic vibes that pollute my mind and soul

My cocoon when the weather is inclement

For all these, I will forever cherish and treasure you

My Peace!

Hit By A Bus

Today I was hit by a bus

My body is numb and my bones are shattered 

The pain is excruciating and I feel it deep within 

My blood is rushing and my heart is working overtime

Today I was hit by a bus

A bus overloaded with our childhood memories 

Things we used to do and things we used to say

Places we used to go and people we've met

Today I was hit by a bus

Carrying conversations we used to have and plans we used to make

Laughter we used to share and jokes we used to make

Soccer games we played and all the trouble we got into together

I am saddened, weak and empty. Blindsided by the news of your passing, my head is still spinning and my knees are crumbling. But memories of our lifelong friendship will pull me through, for that's all I have left. Actually, what we had was more than a friendship, we were family. Rest in peace Pa! And may you be rewarded with the highest heavens. Until we meet again.

A tribute to Pa Salieu Jaiteh

A Struggling Artist

In the wake of Musa Ngum's passing, there has been much chatter about the lack of support Gambians give to their own. Is this a new revelation, I wonder? We have always known that Gambians are stingy with their support when it comes to their own and flamboyantly generous when it comes to others, especially Senegalese.

Gambians will climb a stage to shower Wally Secka with money, giss len ma style, and post a video of it. They will do the same for Titi, Thione, Assan Njie or any one of the Senegalese artists too. They will brag about being Wally's or Titi’s number one fan and the gift or gifts they have in store for them when they roll into town. Now change Wally's or Titi’s nationality to Gambian and they get jack! This is something we are all aware of and have been for the longest time. Nothing new here!

But now that Musa Ngum is no longer with us, everyone wants to own and celebrate him. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but it would have been much better while he was alive and struggling as an artist. Good thing though Musa Ngum loved and enjoyed his work, so regardless of the lack of support from his own, I’m sure he’s still proud of his achievements as an artist.

Rest in peace Musa!