The Circle of Life

Life is what you make it. A book with many chapters, that is full of endless surprises. There are no guarantees; no time outs and no do over. Be yourself, live life and don’t let the sun catch you crawling.

We all spring out of our mother’s womb kicking and screaming, and ready to take on the world and everything in it. After receiving a quick rinse, a light wipe down and wrapped into a blanket, the adrenaline from erupting into life starts to evaporate. In the comfort of our mother’s arms and pressed against her bosom, reality starts to set in and we soon realize that we are just a helpless newborn. With a stiff stare in our eyes we become paralyzed by immobility, we can’t help but rely on our parents for care. Crying becomes our only means of communication for all our needs. The sense of relief for our safe arrival, coupled with the excitement of having a baby consumes our parents, who can’t help but declare us the most adorable baby in the world. True for some, but false for others. The happiness we bring, regardless of our cuteness, becomes the glue that further holds our families together. Our cultures and traditions may sometimes determine how the gender assigned to us will be celebrated.

As we learn to be mobile and independent, our mouths become a deep pocket. Everything we find along the way in our short travels, ends up there. At this point, the destructive quality of human nature starts to surface in us. Anything in our path may fall victim to our growing curiosity as we gravitate towards objects that attract our attention. The adults in our small world are there to protect us from falling victim to all the dangers in the big world. Fires, hot water and cars in the street will be some of our parents’ worst nightmares. Parents may become chokingly protective and their child safety chart is constantly on red. Getting out of sight becomes problematic for us, as grown-ups watch us like a hawk. Watching us eat on our own gives immeasurable pleasure to them, as it is a true sign of the beginning of a child’s independence. Their duty is to ensure our safety and to mentally chronicle every event along the way. Stories will be vividly remembered and told for years to come.

The playground will be our first battlefield. Our survival skills are initially tested there. This is the place where the first hand full of dirt will be thrown in our face, when our parents look away. Usually, it is thrown by another ill-mannered toddler. When this happens, two options are available to us. One is to retaliate, and the other is to cry. The survivors will retaliate and the crybabies will need assistance. Parents will then rush in to comfort or chastise us, depending on whether we are the victim or the aggressor. Children are innocent, but can be extremely aggressive at times. This is where the fight for dominance begins. We start marking our territory, even at this early age. We will battle over swings, slides, balls and all other kinds of toys. There will be pushing, shoving, biting, scratching and lots of finger pointing. We will win some and lose some, depending on our opponent of the day. These playground battles are generally benign, but very crucial in helping develop our survival skills.

As we venture into adolescence, the real challenges in life start to emerge. We are confronted by responsibilities, peer pressure, love, romance and everything else adolescent, with love and romance being the main factors. Love is innate, acute and enhanced by romance. If you thought romance was for only the sophisticated and only took place in cafes or in front of flickering fireplaces, think again. It also happens deep in the jungles of the Amazon, where men court their women by showing off their gardening skills, and all the flowers are free. Adolescence is where it all begins. Love and romance validates us as individuals and keeps the human race going. Our quest for love and romance will lead us into the dusty, windy and slippery roads deep inside the jungle of love. Treading through the jungle of love can sometimes get very dicey; temperatures can be hot one minute, and cold the next. Constant adjustment is needed. We will have our hearts broken and we will break hearts. That’s just the nature of the beast. Our hearts yearn for love, and our souls need it. Love does not always have a happy ending, but as famously said by Alfred Lord Tennyson “it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all”.

Once love is found, life becomes more exciting and meaningful. Love is the prelude to marriage in most cultures, but not everyone marries for love. There are cultures that engage in arranged marriages, and these marriages are sometimes used to preserve lineage and bloodline. There are also folks who will marry someone with all the right qualities, even if they aren’t in love with the person. For them, marriage is considered too important a step to leave to chance. It carries a huge sense of responsibility, for both parties. It is also considered a monumental achievement. Little girls dream about walking down the aisle at a very early age to marry their Prince Charming, while little boys fantasize about marring a beautiful angel. It is always entered into with the spirit of “till death do us apart”, but that’s not always the case. Needless to say, marriage is one of life’s biggest gambles. A father looks forward to the day he will give away his daughter’s hand in marriage, and a mother hopes that her son will marry the perfect wife. Unless the bride and groom are already related, marriage merges their two families and make it one big family. Once a child is conceived in a marriage, DNA is passed on and The Circle of Life continues.

What does life mean to you and what do you value? Personally, I value freedom, my dignity and the ability to express myself without any fear. Even if my opinion does not count at the end of the day, I still want to be able to voice it out. I view life to be fifty percent faith and fifty percent attitude. You have to believe in something, and your attitude towards that will make the difference. The struggles and challenges we face are what give us all a story. It is not about succeeding or failing, but doing your best with the resources you have at your disposal. Try to create opportunities for yourself and take advantage of the opportunities that present themselves. Material possessions don’t fulfill a life; it is the human connections instead. After all, it is the simple things that matter; the kindness we show, the joys, laughs and smiles we share. We all deserve to live a dignified life, regardless of our social status. As humans, there will always be forces pulling us in different directions, but with humility and God, we can always get back to the center. We all carry the responsibility to leave the world a better place that we found it, and getting involved in our communities can easily be a way to achieve that. Remember to teach the children the values and virtues of life; we owe it to them. And hope that the aggressive child from the playground will grow up to understand that kindness pays better dividends than aggression, to an individual and society as a whole. Let us respect and use religion as a vehicle, and not as a weapon or dividing factor. With God’s guidance and our collective human efforts, nothing is impossible. Peace is just an arm’s length away.